5 TIPS
IF you fall over backwards in the street, avoid embarrassment by pretending that you are re-creating Charlie George's 1971 FA Cup goal celebration for Ar*enal against Liverpool. SLOVENLY householders. Always keep a few 'Get Well Soon' cards on the mantlepiece. When unexpected visitors arrive you can tell them that you have not been well and that's why the house is untidy. GOD. Annoy cyclists by making sure that the wind is blowing in their faces whatever direction they cycle in. For added entertainment, make sure the wind is blowing from behind as people leave the hairdressers. TRICK spiders into thinking they have caught a fly by flicking cigarette ash into cobwebs. FATTIES. Avoid your torso being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britain's obesity problem by always wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are C*nts' written on it.
IF you fall over backwards in the street, avoid embarrassment by pretending that you are re-creating Charlie George's 1971 FA Cup goal celebration for Ar*enal against Liverpool. SLOVENLY householders. Always keep a few 'Get Well Soon' cards on the mantlepiece. When unexpected visitors arrive you can tell them that you have not been well and that's why the house is untidy. GOD. Annoy cyclists by making sure that the wind is blowing in their faces whatever direction they cycle in. For added entertainment, make sure the wind is blowing from behind as people leave the hairdressers. TRICK spiders into thinking they have caught a fly by flicking cigarette ash into cobwebs. FATTIES. Avoid your torso being surreptitiously filmed and used in a BBC news report about Britain's obesity problem by always wearing a T-shirt with 'All Newsreaders are C*nts' written on it.